how do flat chested girls get laid?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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