Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
