Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
