i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
