my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
