I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
