i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
