based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
is it fun? or sober?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
