i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize