margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
id be glad to
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm passing your future prison.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
