See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
