hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you will always have a special place in my vag
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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