Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
that is very illegal...i love you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
