if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
