I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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