I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
