it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
