Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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