if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
