i barfeds in our rink
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
