yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
His nipple licking is glorious
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
