the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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