this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
