he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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