fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
