is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
