Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
