no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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