Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
