If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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