I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
