So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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