You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
