I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
