I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
