I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize