Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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