i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
