I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
