I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
