I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
FUCK WHALES
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
