New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will be naked everywhere
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
