Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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