My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
