I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
