so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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