Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
