i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
