Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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