everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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