im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
