'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
