i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How external is "for external use only"?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize