I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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