Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
