yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You're like the curious george of whores
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
