I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
