When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
