My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize