I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He better not be in your backpack
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
